Well, it appears as though I got married. Did you think I wouldn’t have some thoughts on this topic, after all these years?
I’ll tell you this: Days later, it still feels very much like a dream. Not the “fairy tale wedding” kind of dream, but the kind of dream where you watch yourself while you’re asleep and go “Hey, look at that- That’s Cindy, taking steps!” (Thanks Ash, for verbalizing this.) I am still very much tickled by this.
And yeah, that’s exactly how it feels. In looking at the photos, a few of you have noted with surprise that we went with such a traditional approach to our wedding. You know, the white dress, fancy car, the diamond ring, etc. I’m rather surprised with ourselves here, too. I guess these sorts of events tend to draw out the most traditional in people, despite our proclivities. I also think the fact that so many people thought we would end up with vials of blood around our necks and weed favors made us more inclined to prove them otherwise. That’s just who we are, I guess. I mean, C’mon, this is from a couple who originally wanted to get married on April Fool’s Day because we both thought it would be hilarious. Birds of a feather.
Carlos also knew that I hated surprises, so we plotted a quiet engagement and decided to get married with just our two families with a small ceremony and a very nice dinner. We did it in a month, so no more BS can find its way into it and scare us off for good. Turns out, that was a good idea, because weddings tend to suck up as much life blood and time from you as you allow it to. Trust me on this one.
There’s also something about Tradition I’ll have consider at this life juncture. Turns out, Tradition matters to a great deal of people, so it seems to be inevitable that it will ultimately matter to you, if you care deeply about said people. I suppose that’s why traditions stick around for so long, and even the crappy parts tend not to die so easily. It’s the path of least resistance, like hanging a piece of chalk from the wall, having gravity help you draw a straight line as a guide for a mural. It provides you with a guide, so what you create looks better from a distance. It works; and everyone seems happy with the result.
I will say, that the best part of being a free-thinking, privileged woman living in 2016 America, is that I can pick and choose which traditions I want to honor and which ones are straight up bullshit. Veil over my face to be unwrapped like a present? Bullshit. My father giving me away and changing my name? No thanks. (No offense to anyone who went that route, to each their own.) But spending money on things that matter to us like good food, fine wines, and lots and lots of flowers? Check. Spending extravagant amounts of money on the 15 people who cared the most about my wedding? Fa’Sho. (Not counting 4 kids and a dog, who were mainly there as adorable accessories.) It makes it ten thousand percent easier when your partner agrees with you on all these things, not to mention–affirming.
And now, I guess I’m a wife. That term cracks me up, because it makes me want to watch Joy Luck Club again to decide which Asian stereotype I’d want to be, but I’m really glad we actually did this whole wedding thing. Mainly because we had a total blast. Both our families never thought they’d see the day their son and daughter, sister or brother get married, but I swear—- it happened. And not even on April 1st!
Take that, Tradition. 🙂